I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I have fence marks all over my body
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
