Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
