I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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