This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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