He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
