I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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