When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
