So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i out mim tonsoeep
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
