Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
