I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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