He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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