My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
MIDGETS
????
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
