What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
