This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
