u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
