just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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