does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
