Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
