We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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