Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
