apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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