My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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