My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You ate ashes out of my bong
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
