if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
