I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
