Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I need to calm my uterus...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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