can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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