I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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