There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
