"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Randomize
