Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
