Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He? As in you personified your dick?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
