oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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