Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
