I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
