turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
