gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
