People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
