I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
