I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
