Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
