So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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