Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
