FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
