dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
