Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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