quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
