JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
