i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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