Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
